How do I begin? When I started this ”journey” as a new widow, I couldn’t speak, much less know my name, or what day it was. My beloved husband passed away suddenly. There wasn’t any warning, there weren’t any signs. And
yet, a vibrant man who was yet to even discuss retirement was gone. Forever.
Each day following, I walked and talked but couldn’t understand my reality. My beloved was gone. Forever. Then one morning, I sent an email to a dear friend who lost his wife 4 years earlier. ” When, I asked him, does the pain go away?” He gently told me that it never does, but it will get “softer.” During that conversation, he kindly invited me to come to a Support Meeting for widowed people which just so happened would have been that afternoon.
I walked in the door, was greeted by knowing hugs, and I felt comfort. I felt safe. I could cry, I could be silent, and I just listened to heart wrenching stories; similar, different, but all the same. Each person in that room lost their beloved. Forever. Each person was coping, moving forward, and helping those of us that couldn’t reconcile the facts that were before us. Our beloved had died.
That was over a year ago. Today, I am living again. The pain has subsided but still comes and goes. I am looking forward to a positive future, and l have made many friends. I am laughing, and I am active in many of the activities, as well as giving back by being an office worker where my talents can be used. I look forward to each day, and grateful that I took that first step and walked into the Widowed Person’s Assn. of California to attend Sunday Support.
Yolanda Halik
Widowed: April 28, 2018
